Awakening (post-Sleeper Scooby blowout)

Buffy was still trying to sort it all out when Willow approached her. "Can we talk?" Looking around at the others. "In the kitchen, maybe?" Buffy allowed Willow to lead her by the arm into the kitchen, and when Willow turned around her face was grim.

"I just had to check if Xander could enter the house uninvited." Willows face looked alternately pissed off and grieved. "I can't believe I had to do that! I had to make sure that *Xander* wasn't a vampire!"

"What? Xanders not a vampire..."

"Not that *you* would have thought to check, but no, he isn't. This time. And not because you protected him, not because his best friend is the Slayer, or the Slayer is his best friend, for that matter, but because he was *lucky.*" Buffy looked stunned and tried to get a word in edgewise, but Willow wasn't showing any signs of letting up. "Because the Slayer left a known killer, whom she suspected was killing *again,* alone with him, and by pure luck, Spike didn't slip into one of his mind-controlled mad-vamping sprees while Xander was asleep in the next room."

"Spike wouldn't hurt Xander, where is this coming from?"

"Other than punch him in the head, you mean? Over the years, he's attacked you, me, Xander, hell, he's tried to kill us all, both before and after the chip. Xander told me that Harmony said he attacked her when they were," off a distasteful look, "doing whatever it was they were doing, and you told me yourself that he's attacked Drusilla, more than once. Violence is who he *is.* It's his nature. He doesn't know anything else, and your endangering all of us, Xander, Dawn, me, by pretending he's someone he isn't, someone *he doesn't even know how to be.*"

Flinching at the mention of Dawn, "He'd never hurt Dawn. He's not all about violence..."

Willows eyes roll, "Oh, he hasn't hit Dawn yet? What a *saint,* considering that you and I have both tried to kill her. Quick, I'll call the Vatican, see if the Pope's still awake..."

Looking resigned to Willows sarcasm, "God Willow, what's happened to you? This was all before the soul, he's *changed.* He's trying to make up for all of that. Why can't you, of all people, understand that he can't be judged for what he's done in the past, only what he's trying to do now." Willow looks pained at first, then settles back into fury that Buffy would turn things around like this. "He's a different man now. He isn't like that anymore."

"Oh, so his attacks on Anya, and on Xander, and on *you,* what, those were accidents?

Backsliding? 'Cause I gotta tell ya, now that I know backsliding is allowed, I might dash off and flay my calculus professor real quick..."

Obviously not hearing the bitter ending, Buffy mutters, "Xander should keep his mouth shut, has he told everyone?"

"What? *Anya* told me about it."

"*Anya?* They're barely talking! That settles it, he *has* told everyone. Bastard."

"I think Anya noticed the fist flying into her face all by herself. She's thick sometimes, but being punched in the head is probably enough to get through even her egomania..."

"Not Anya, me. He shouldn't have told you about..." she pauses, looking upstairs reflexively, "What happened here."

"Something happened here? Well whoopy, Spike's attacked you everywhere else, why the hell would it matter if it happened here too?" Off Buffy's stricken look, as she pales, realizing that Willow *didn't* know. "Oh. You don't mean 'punched' attacked..."

Willows eyes go dark and she seems to shake with barely controlled rage, looking back towards the living room. Buffy, grabbing her arm, "No! It wasn't his," pause, "well, it was, but that's why he went to get the soul. That's what made him change. He," pause, "tried to attack me, and it scared him, at least as badly as me. God, probably more." Letting go of Willows arm, as Willow backs down, eyes still dark for a second before the moment passes, almost pleading at the end, and hugging herself as she recalls the scene.

"So you don't want me to incinerate him?" Off Buffy's 'no' nod, she asks softly, "If he attacked me like that, would you kill him for *me?*" Buffy looks puzzled, shaking her head as she starts to say, "But he wouldn't..." before Willow interrupts, "Yeah. That's what I thought."

Willow turns to leave, saying over her shoulder, "I've been working on the dis-invitation spell. I modified it, strengthened it, so that I can put it on any private room, like a bedroom. Since *you* won't be protecting us from Spike, I'll protect myself. First by warding my bedroom, then Dawns room, then Xanders' apartment. Secondly by incinerating the bastard if he ever tries to touch me, or Xander, or Dawn, or even Anya. *Someone* has to be the Slayer around here. *Someone* has to be our friend and put us first. It sure as hell isn't going to be you, since you can't be either."

She looks back, regretfully. "You can protect yourself. Assuming you even want to."

*******************************************************************

Standing around in an uncomfortable silence, able to hear every word, Anya, Dawn and Xander look anywhere but at the kitchen, while Spike sits resignedly, occasionally flinching, occasionally nodding his head. As Willow walks out, she stops short, noticing everyone staring at her and she snaps, "What?"

Xander is the first to speak, face trying gamely for a whacky grin, but settling into something that seems more like a pained rictus, "So, what do you need for the vamp-be-gone spells again?"

Smiling slightly in response to his attempt to lighten the mood. "I'm still angry at you buster. I can't believe you knew about..." face flushed, she can't even get out the words, "the thing, that Spike tried to do to Buffy, and didn't tell me, didn't *warn* me."

Xander is stepping back, hands in the air, starting to reply when Willow interrupts, "I’ll need crosses, some holy water and a book I've got upstairs. Let's get cracking. "*I'm* not going to let my feelings get in the way of protecting the people I love."

Buffy, just standing in the doorway, holding herself, doesn't even react to this latest barb. She is numb now to Willows hurtful words.

Dawn chooses that moment to speak up. "Um, Xander, you have that spare bedroom now that," she gestures to Spike, "y'know. I wonder if I can crash there for a few nights? Just until we have less," again, the gesture to Spike, "dead biting people here."

Xander looks stunned, and shoots Buffy a pained look, as if he is afraid to choose sides.

Dawn continues talking throughout, "I'll feel safer knowing he isn't allowed anywhere in the apartment, just until he's cured, or..." she trails off, not able to articulate the other option to 'cured.'

Buffy is beyond stunned and actually snorts, waves dissmissively and turns back into the kitchen.

Xander, looking non-plussed and thoroughly uncomfortable, "Um, 'kay?"

Dawn, looking completely outraged that her sister has dismissed her safety, and now her very presence, so casually, responds in a completely unconvincing chirpy tone, "Fine. I'll pack."

Anya has been looking at Spike, who has been sitting like a trauma victim throughout the exchange and says softly to him, "I got off easy. The sword through the chest probably hurt less." she then turns to the others, "Willow?" Willow turns, almost angrily, "What, you need a de-invite spell on your place, too?" "Um, no, despite my raging egomania," she says with a glare at Willow, "*I* have a brain. No vampires have ever been invited into my apartment. Or ever will." Willow somehow manages to look angry, chagrined and wryly amused at the same time, "I was wondering if you might prefer to come over and stay in my, did I mention, vampire-free, safe and only slightly rug-scorched, apartment, rather than stay here."

Willow actually has the good grace to look apologetic, "I'm sorry Anya, and I appreciate the offer, it's very generous of you," Willow says this last with a slight hint of disbelief that no one but Anya (who smiles pleasedly at the compliment, and the apology) misses, "but I should stay here, so that someone with the power to stop him is around to prevent him from killing again."

Buffy listens to the Dawn pound down the steps with a backpack of clothing, "I'll come back for more, this will last the rest of the week." and then she can hear the sound of the door closing, and the house is blessedly quiet again, like a grave.